Slipped Away
by Immortal-Blood
Summary: SONGFIC...Can you handle what's real? Can you handle the truth that someone you love and care about is not really there anymore? She couldn't, and she lived with death most of her life.


I do not own **Cowboy Bebop**; if I did then it wouldn't have ended like that or I would have at least come up with a second movie relating to the death of my beloved Spike. 

I do not own **Slipped Away**

**Immortal-Blood** is the creator of this small songfic.

Help from **Deathtaker** and **WolfsSora**

Please excuse the lack of wrong words. The flash backs is the best I could do because I haven't seen this show in like forever.

**::X:: ::X:: ::X::**

She sat against the window that overlooked space as they slowly floated towards anywhere. Her richly dark purple hair hung uselessly in her face as she looked with curiosity for the familiar red ship. The closest space portal casted eerie lights that shined deathly against the window making her look like a small child. Her legs crossed and curled up to her chest, the neon stockings she wore sliding down her smooth legs threateningly but she didn't care at the moment, she just wanted to see the familiar ship and no worries. A flash of red caught her eye and her head whipped up but soon dropped when she saw that it was only a carrier truck passing.

**I miss you, miss you so bad...**

Tears rolled down her pale cheeks and she didn't bother to whip them away this time. Even after Jet had told her what happened, she didn't want it to be true, no, she wanted him to come back in his beat up sword fish and tell her he was alright and that she was a fool to have worried. She wanted him to come back. But he wasn't. He wasn't going to come, no matter how much she cried or pleaded. Not even that small annoying child was there to help her through this small happening. She didn't die; she just left to some remote journey. But he did. He died in his remote journey and wasn't ever going to come back to life no matter how many times he did before.

_Faye began moving around the cramped bathroom, trying desperately to get the handcuffs off her small wrists. They weren't budging. Footsteps sounded from somewhere on the ship and coming closer. She stopped and leaned her head back, hoping the two people that kept her captive would just keep walking passed, but to her luck, they stopped right by the door. It slid opened, the light shining over her. She glared at the first person that came into view and frowned. It was the green haired guy. His brown eyes smirked at her even though his face was completely shocked when he stared at her until the other guy pushed him aside and glared at her._

"_Are you going to let me go?" she asked hopeful, finally turning away from the green haired guy._

**I don't forget you; oh it's so sad...**

Slamming her balled up fist against the plated glass, her weak body slid to slump as the body curled up even more. Fresh sobs escaped her throat echoing in the dim room. Why did you have to leave? You said you were going to kill him, never said you were going to die. A sad grin crept up her face and she began laughing manic. "Stupid Idiot," she cried out, the grin disappearing just as fast as it came. Her green eyes searched her own reflection, at the despicable state she was in. Slowly getting to her feet she walked towards her ship, not giving the window one last look.

"Where do you think you're going?" someone replied as she began walking down the narrow hall to the ships deck. She stopped and turned to face her bald friend.

"I'm going to see for myself." Her voice wasn't the usual sarcastic hot stuff, but raspy and silent. Jet had sympathy for the girl so he didn't say anything as she turned back and entered the small room.

**I hope you can hear me...I remember it clearly**

_She lifted her gun and cocked it, it point aimed at his temple. He froze in step, but he didn't tense. He didn't even move to stare at her. "Where are you going?" he turned to look at her, the gun now pointing at his face. She didn't make a move to move it but he saw the tiniest of shakes and knew she wasn't going to do something stupid. "Why are you going?" she finally removed the gun to her side and casted her gaze to the ground. Her body was shaking but she didn't care, she had to get this out. "You told me once to forget the past but it doesn't matter." She paused as tears threatened to come out. She looked up to face him and gasped. He had sympathy in his eyes but his face was neutral. "But you're the one still tied to the past Spike!" _

_Faye stared at him, her own green eyes shocked that he didn't give her a witty remark like he always did. All he did was stare at her, his eyes giving off a weird emotion she didn't like, didn't know what it was. Her heart began beating faster as he leaned into her face, catching her by surprise. He just stared at her for some time before a smile crept up on his handsome face then disappeared like it was never there._

"_Do you see it?" he asked his smoky breath on her face. "I have two different color eyes, Faye. This one sees today, everything that's going on." he pointed to his right eye. Faye watched his serious face, searching his eyes as the emptiness crept to the surface. "This one is the past; it sees everything that happened that day, everything until I wasn't there."_

"_Don't tell me things like that. You never told me things like that before so don't tell me now!" Spike continued to stare into her face watching as he body trembled with tears that haven't come out yet._

"_It was like watching a dream I'd never wake up from." Faye's eyes grew wider and her breathing faster as she listened to him. His breath sending chills down her spine. He smiled and stood, turning so he didn't face her anymore. She watched him awhile before turning herself to face the wall, trying to get her composer back._

"_My memory...finally came back. But nothing good came of it." tears fell from her eyes silently and she didn't bother to wipe them away. She clenched her fist, her nails digging into her flesh as she remembered memories of the past. "This was the only place I could come and now you're leaving...just like that." Spike closed his eyes briefly and listened to her silent cry her silent plea for him to stay. He opened his eyes and fixed it on the spot in the dark of the ship. "Why do you have to go?" she turned abruptly and stared at his tall figure._

"_I'm not going there to die; I'm going there to find out if I'm alive. I have to go Faye." He didn't look at her as he walked away. He knew that he would have stayed if he saw her tear stained face, saw how sad she was and knew that the small feelings he had for her would come out._

_She didn't know what to say, she just watched his retreating back disappear into the shadows of the bebop. _Why Spike? Why are you doing this to me? _She lifted her gun, first at him the she aimed it above her and shot hoping he would stop but he didn't. Two, three, four, and five time shots rang out into the silent ship and still spike disappeared. Her arm fell to her side as tears escaped and she just cried. _He truly left; _Faye leaned against the wall and let the tears fall._

Faye sat, crouched over her controls as Jet opened the hatchet for her to fly out. Immediately the stars and the darkness of the oblivion caught her sense for the first time. She never realized how beautiful it was out in space, she loved it, but she couldn't have it. Not until she figured out the real truth by herself. Shooting up, she turned her ship and shot back towards Venus, tears slowly riding down her already pale face. "I'm going to see for myself, you idiot."

**The day you slipped away, Was the day I found it won't be the same **

**Ooooh...Nah nah la la la nah nah...**

She allowed her ship to get pulled down onto the planet, not bothering to check the vitals and controls. As the familiar dead dock came into view, she boarded and stumbled out of her ship. A few sailors stared at her with hunger in their eyes but she ignored them, her mind was only set on one thing and person. Building, Spike. It started to drizzle lightly as she continued down the street. She hadn't a clue where she was going, she was just following her gut, her mind and the scent of burned timber. An old man stared at her, his mouth opening to speak but he saw her red eyes and the silent tears slowly going down her face. Her hair was damp as the drizzle came to a light pour the deeper she got into the gray, lifeless city.

Her walking had changed since she learned the disbelieving truth. She now walked with a slight skid. Her legs were weak with all the crying, her body malfunctioning she just take her to as far as she willed. Stopping and stepping underneath a building's covering, she leaned her head against the stores window and collapsed. The old man that had been watching her slowly walked over to her, concern written on his wrinkling face. She looked up from staring at the puddle of water at her foot. She set her face to the scowl that was so famous when speaking, but for some reason as she stared at his whitening hair, his brown eyes, and cigar sticking out of the corner of his mouth she couldn't help but think of vicious and spike together. Vicious with his white hair and ugly face of terror and wrong and Spike with his goofy expression and cigarette sticking from his mouth.

**I didn't get around to kiss you...goodbye on the hand**

_She couldn't help but keep the grin on her face as the men that just lost left the table and the ones that won stayed. Though, her grin grew into a smile as a new comer came to the table. An unlit cigarette on the top of his ear hidden slightly underneath his messy olive green hair. She waited until he paid before she dealt the cards, keeping her eye on the guys around. After the cards were handed across, she looked down at the small viz screen and her platonic smile became more transparent. _It's him, _and the game began. She waited, dealt, and played the game just like she was told when her suspect was supposed to. Now the only thing left was his last bet and she would have the chip and she was then free to go. Though, his own sarcastic and flirtatious smile was making her think otherwise. _

_The last chip lay in front of him and she held out her hand. He looked at it, the game, then at her hand before shaking his head. "Nah, I think I'll keep it as a souvenir." With that he stood and began walking away. Faye followed him, her mind reeling with thoughts._

"_What? You can't do that. It wasn't part of the plan." She harshly replied. He stopped not quite understanding, though he didn't care. He toyed with her before pretending to swallow the chip, then with all his joy of gambling left. _

She pushed herself off the ground and ran, the memories still flowing through her mind of the time she first met him. The old man just stared at her retreating back before she disappeared within the storm. The rain had gotten a lot harder now and her body was shivering from lack of clothing. A crowd of people stood up ahead and she headed in that direction, slowing her pace as the tears fell freely sending another headache through her mind.

**I wish that I could see you again. I know that I can't**

**Oooooh**

Police officers stood around the almost ruined building. Glass scattered along the stairs that led to the entrance and an ambulance was positioned just underneath the canvas to help the wounded that were coming out of the building with the help of firefighters. Faye stopped in her tracks at the sight in front of her. People had gathered around the caution tapes, reporters filming away while the hostess talked on and on about the scene that had happened or what they thought had happened. The rain grew harder as she finally broke out in a run, pushing her way to the front. A few people cursed at her rudeness while others she stared shockingly at her as she passed through helplessly.

Once at the front she paused to see a few officers talking amongst themselves. Cut off words came to her hearing and she flipped out. Sliding under the yellow tape she began running towards the ruined building, ignoring the calls of halt from the officers and the sudden mummer of the civilians watching with wide shock. Her red jacket came undone from the middle of her stomach and fell into the puddle of water made from the hard pouring rain. She slipped and fell on the steps as she began taking them two at a time. Getting up again she tried to keep going but two cops grabbed hold of her waist and held on as she screamed and struggled. The tears she'd been holding in from the beginning poured out making her shrill threats choked and unwavering.

"You can't be on this," one of the officers holding onto her waist replied. His voice was sympathetic as she slowly laxed and fell to the floor, the water splashing about her. "Come on," he tried to lift her but something caught Faye's attention. A few paramedics were pushing out a body, the sheet covering it whole so she couldn't exactly see who was there but the thought of seeing the red blood smearing on the white sheet made her scream.

"You can't be dead! YOU CAN'T!" her shrill cry echoed through the night air silencing everyone, including the news reporters. "SPIKE!"

**I hope you can hear me 'cause I remember it clearly**

The officer, which had been watching her as she cried over and over again, her voice shrilly as the name tried to escape her lips, he lifted her up and conscious of all the people watching him, he brought her over to the covered up body. He wanted her to know weather or not it truly was the one that she thought was dead and if it wasn't he wanted her to stop crying. Faye slumped against the guy's hard chest allowing him to drag her over to the paramedics that had been talking to each other of the critical wounds of how he died. She stopped when she saw green sticking out and her tears began rolling down her face, fresh and fast. Her lips quivered as she bit down to keep from screaming out. The stunned silence of everyone made it worse, like she was some famous person or something.

Slowly she reached over to the table, her hands trembling violently. She pulled back only once to grip her fingers to her yellow shirt. Taking a breath to keep her self from running away she began inching towards it. Silent mummers from reporters spoke in the silence but she drowned that out as her hand came an inch from the sheet. Her heart stopped with her breathing and she paused, not sure if she really wanted to see the person underneath. Gripping the thick fabric she numbly pulled back far enough to see if it was him. Blood caked the corpse's hair but it wasn't green. The green had come from the string holding his glasses on his neck. She pulled it back up and breathed out, letting a nervous laugh escape her lips. People around her had been watching with silent stares and holding of breath. When they saw her breath out they breathed out, knowing that it wasn't who she thought.

"Why don't you tell us who're looking for?" the officer had finally spoken after she just stared into space, her lips slowly quivering as she continued to bite down her lower lip, the taste of blood metallic on her tongue. She turned her head, the water droplets falling down her bangs.

"Spi...spi..." _oh god I can't even say his name. _Fresh sobs sprung to life and she slumped to the wet ground. The officer, completely taken aback by the new tears knelt down besides her rubbing the small of her back where she skin was wet from the rain hitting down from above. As he asked her to calm down, it hit her. Hard and wet. If they haven't found his body yet then he was still inside and...

**The day you slipped away, Was the day I found it won't be the same**

**Ooooh**

She got up so fast that it sent the officer a couple of feet away. Before he could do anything she ran into the building, covering her face of the smoke emitting off the toxicating fires around the building. She didn't understand why it blew up, but then it was probably Vicious and his scheme to take the elders and Spike out. Looking around the hazy room, she tried to think. Her actions were quick into coming inside, but she didn't know where to start looking and why she wanted to look. It was clear that he couldn't have made it through the explosion and the few guys that she saw that did make it weren't well enough to talk. She pushed herself forward and stumbled on something.

Looking down she saw a body half in and half out underneath a large block of cement from the ceiling. As she stared at the body of one of Vicious's men, she couldn't help but think it was Spike. Walking backwards she closed her eyes from the bloody mess and began making her way towards the staircase that stood just a little bit a head of her. Firemen were searching that premises, throwing timber blocks to the side to see if anybody was underneath. She froze in her steps as she stared through the hazy smoke. One of the men began yelling that a body was found, also directing the few slash marks of wounds. In that second as they drag the tall figure out, Faye collapsed in tears and unconsciousness.

**I had my wake up...Won't you wake up. I keep asking why and I can't take it**

**It wasn't fake...It happened, you passed by**

..._She opened her eyes only to see pure white. Not just any white, it was glittering like the sun was up ahead or something but as she turned her head she only saw the same color over and over again. Sitting up, she stared down at her hands. They were covered in red, dark, blood. Confused she smeared the blood onto the white ground and instantly the walls turned red. Standing up she twirled around looking at the new change of color and the fact that it was the color of blood. Richer though, but blood none the less. A cool breeze nipped at her body and she looked down to stare gawping at the black dress she wore. The spidery pattern wound around her chest and shoulders before the solid black made itself into gloves and the rest of her outfit. The corset top of it was laced with a shiny black, to fit her perfect figure. _

_A figure stood amongst the darkness in front of her and she slowly stepped forward. The area smelt like burned cinder and she mentally coughed, hating the scent. The figure was tall, messy hair portraying against the light she was in. they held their body upright like a fighter and she felt a knot growing in her throat. _

"_Spike?" she said his name without thinking and immediately tears sprung to her eyes. The figure took a step into the light and she gasped. His chaotic green hair was caked with blood and his blue shirt was even bloodier. _

"_Faye," the name rolled off his tongue and hung in the air. She collapsed to the ground in a fit of fresh tears. Burrowing her head in her hands she repeated the same word over and over. 'No'. _

"_It's not true," she choked. "You're not really here. Your dead, you..." she felt dead cold hands around her shoulders and she looked up into his intense brown eyes. He was staring at her with different emotions that she couldn't point out but one of them she saw the last time she spoke with him, when he told her about why he was leaving. She hated that look because it was dead and uncertain. "Spike,"_

_He lifted her up and engulfed her in a full embrace. "Faye I need you to be strong. I never want to see you like this. I've never seen you like this, not even when you found the truth about yourself." She looked up at him but he was looking away which made her think of something._

"_You're really gone," he released her and watched her tears slowly stop. Sadly he nodded which made her grin that famous grin she always had for him. "You stupid idiot,"_

"_Sorry, I can't help myself. Trouble always seems to find me that way." He laughed nervously which caused her to go blank as the area around her swirled in different colors..._

**Now you're gone, now you're gone**

**There you go, there you go**

Faye coughed madly as a strong scent was waved under her nose. Drowsily she opened tear stained eyes and looked around. Her surroundings were hazy from the rain meaning she was outside again. Sitting up quickly she looked at the people slightly surrounding her; the officer from before and two paramedic people. One of them was propped close to her with a wet cloth which he used to dab strong alcohol on it. Coughing again she looked back at the building, two firefighters were dragging out another body. The memory of the freaky dream she had came back to her and she stood up making her way back to the building but at least three different people held her back.

"You can't go in there," the officer replied as he forced her back around. "Just tell us who you're looking for and we'll find them for you."

"That's the thing," she said silently. Her voice wasn't up for her usual snappish anymore. "I don't know if he's actually real." That confused the officer as much as her own self.

**Somewhere I can't bring you back. Now you're gone, now you're gone**

**There you go, there you go**

_She watched silently as Jet twisted the handle to start the engine of her space craft. It gurgled before starting then died. He began typing something and tried again, the same thing. When he turned she just stood there, staring. Staring at his injured leg then at his sweaty face. He was staring at her as well before turning back and finishing up what he started. "You're a very lucky woman." Faye walked towards him and leaned against her ship, avoiding his gaze._

"_Yeah right, time was perfect for getting shot at and nearly killed." She replied sarcastically. There was silence as he continued to work._

"_The red tail won't be functional for awhile." He finally told her making her sigh and glance at him._

"_You're having some pretty good luck yourself. That Spike, he was nothing but trouble." Her mind went back to Spike before she scowled herself. _That's not true; he was just as troublesome as you were. _"He's probably not coming back. They may have killed him already you know." Jet took a glance at her before continuing typing and trying to start the engine again. He knew of her feelings but didn't say anything because Spike had gone to Julia._

"_It's possible," she made a small gasp which made him turn to look at her. His dark eyes expressionless, his body slightly tense and shaky from standing on one foot. "Want me to go looking for him? Forget it; he's dealing with his past. It's his fight." At the tone of his voice Faye wanted to sock him. She wanted Spike back here with her no matter if Julia was with him. She didn't want him to fight because of his bloody past. She refrained herself and kept her face as neutral as possible._

"_You told him to go after her," Jet grabbed hold of her shirt front, catching her off guard and speechless. _

"_My leg is a wreck; my ship is busted, oh yes. He was nothing but trouble and I don't give a damn." Faye was trembling under his dark gaze. His fake arm was stronger then his real one and she knew if he wanted to he would kill her and possibly harm her for speaking against him like that again. Jets slowly released her, seeing the sadness in her eyes as well as feel the trembling. He knew of her feelings for him, it was apparent since the first time Spike was faced off with Vicious when she joined their ship._

**Somewhere you're not coming back**

"What do you mean you don't know if he's real?" he asked, stepping back as he watched her sadden face go completely blank. Faye hugged herself and began rocking on the balls of her feet.

"He died once before...for Julia. He died because of Julia. He might be dead now." Tears were once again going down her pale face and she turned to run into the wrecked building. The officer, lost in her words hadn't realized she left until someone else yelled for her to stop.

For some reason she knew where she was going. And when she got there, everything seemed to freeze. A few of the cleaners watched as she knelt beside a lifeless body they just unburied and placed to the side so officers could take him out. He was dead, they knew, but the girl they were watching hadn't figured it out yet. But deep down she knew he was dead because he couldn't have survived such a blast or wounds inflicted by Vicious. Reaching closer and closer to the body, Faye trembled. Her world fell as she looked into closed eyes of the famous bounty hunter.

"Listen miss..." the officer froze. She was leaning over the body now, her hands going over the bloody body. Her body was racking with sobs as she looked at his lifeless form and as she hugged it she fell unconscious.

**The day you slipped away, Was the day I found it won't be the same noo...**

"_I'm not going there to die; I'm going there to find out if I'm alive. I have to go Faye." He didn't look at her as he walked away. He knew that he would have stayed if he saw her tear stained face, saw how sad she was and knew that the small feelings he had for her would come out._

_She didn't know what to say, she just watched his retreating back disappear into the shadows of the bebop. _Why Spike? Why are you doing this to me? _She lifted her gun, first at him the she aimed it above her and shot hoping he would stop but he didn't. Two, three, four, and five time shots rang out into the silent ship and still spike disappeared. Her arm fell to her side as tears escaped and she just cried. _He truly left; _Faye leaned against the wall and let the tears fall._

**The day you slipped away, Was the day that I found it won't be the same **

Once again she opened her eyes to a blurry scene. Her head throbbed from so much crying and her throat ached with yelling out. This time though, she knew why she was on the ground in the rain. She'd found her answer. It wasn't as painful as she thought it would be but she still felt grief and a bad sense of wanting to tear her own heart out to go to the afterlife. Sitting up she looked around at the people that gathered to watch her in silence and sympathy.

"Are you alright now?" the same officer replied as she helped her to her feet, handing her an already wet poncho. She declined it and nodded her head.

"Yes," without another word she shuffled through the large crowd and into the darkness of the streets. _Though my heart isn't set right anymore. _

**Oooh...**

**Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah **

The rain had let up since after hours have passed. Faye wrapped a slender arm around her stomach placed the rose she'd be holding since she left the building on the dock. Looking up into the sky briefly before stepping into her ship and taking off to wherever she felt like, possibly Mars or Earth. She hadn't a clue now. All she knew was the Bebop was no longer a home for her. Knowing the truth about Spike slightly helped her keep the tears controlled, though she still cried, wondering what would have happened if she told him her feelings before he left.

**I miss you...**

_Broken yet redefined as lost._

_Unknown to the world as one vanishes._

_Proven to drop a promise written in blood._

_Casted to the side ruthless as ever_

_In the eyes of love._

_Lost forever in sorrow and pain not yet broken. _


End file.
